“The last days of colonialism taught America’s revolutionaries that soldiers in the streets bring conflict and tyranny. As a result, our country has generally worked to keep the military out of law enforcement. But according to investigative reporter Radley Balko, over the last several decades, America’s cops have increasingly come to resemble ground troops. The consequences have been dire: the home is no longer a place of sanctuary, the Fourth Amendment has been gutted, and police today have been conditioned to see the citizens they serve as an other—an enemy.” – Rise of the Warrior Cop
They never gave us a class in school for this.
So grab your notepads. Let’s go to war.
This is the How to Get Pulled Over and Not Get Killed (Police State 2015 Edition)
Let me start off by reminding you that I’m white and that these are only my opinions. If you’re wondering what gives me the right to speak on this topic let me quickly mention a few things: I’ve been arrested before. I’ve been beaten up by the police. I’ve been falsely accused and convicted of a crime I did not commit, and I’ve probably been pulled over more than 40 times in my 15 years of being a licensed driver. And, I’m white. I’ve dealt with the police the hard way and the easy way, and the hard way never worked. Not once.
I’d also like to add in that I’m a pretty cool guy who has friends from all different walks of life. From NYPD officers to convicted felons, I’ve spoken with all of them on this topic. There’s no reason an unarmed human being should EVER wind up dead after being pulled over for a routine traffic stop.
Lately, when I look at my Facebook timeline, all I seem to see is Police Brutality videos. I don’t know if this is some master plan the monster has for us to keep us divided and hating each other or if this truly is a nation-wide epidemic. It’s probably a little bit of both, but we can always do better.
There is a fine line between righteous anger and toxic emotions. Right now, I see a lot of toxic emotions. Toxic emotions, which if left unattended, can spill over into your everyday life, affecting your relationships and interactions with your fellow man.
On Facebook (Antagonistic book) I see a lot of racism, hate, fighting and anger.
In real life I see a lot of love, peace, growth, togetherness and healing.
You create your own universe.
If evil aliens came down from space today and declared War on us you better believe we would throw this racism talk right out the window, get on the phone with Will Smith, bare arms, join forces and celebrate a brand new Independence day.
Now, while I recognize a lot of cops can be very difficult humans, I also see a lot of things we as citizens can do to make interactions with police officers go a lot easier.
That said, here are 4 rules to live by when getting pulled over in 2015 during the Police State.
RULE #1 PULL OVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” – Dale Carnegie
Don’t delay or avoid the inevitable. You don’t want the cop to think you are trying to run away.
Get to the right side of the road, as far as you can go, and put yourself in a happy place. Smile. Think about something that makes you happy. You can think of puppies. If puppies don’t make you happy you’re a pretty evil person and maybe you deserve to die. I’m just joking. Let’s keep it moving…
Actions speak louder than words. When you smile it says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” Even if you don’t feel that way, do it, it works.
If you can find a safe place to pull into, do that. If you can, make sure you pull over enough so that you’re not sticking out into the road. This protects you and the officer from other cars crashing into you. Some cops will notice this and appreciate you for it. That’s called winning.
Nice job, you’re already getting on the cops’ good side.
Now change your energy. Energy is everything. Our body language speaks volumes words can never reach. People can feel the energy on you. I know it’s hard and you’re mad and you hate cops (I get it), but just pretend. Convince yourself that this is a good person, that everything is going to go smooth and that he’s going to like you and let you off easy.
“The wise warrior avoids the battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
I like to imagine it’s one of my friends fathers approaching my car. Better yet, imagine it is your girl friends’ father and you are meeting him for the first time. You are a respectful person when it comes to stuff like that, right?
If it’s a younger cop I envision him as my friend. Like someone I went to school with.
Check your ego at the door and humble yourself. Make the cop feel important and powerful. This is what they get off on. This will make them like you and increase your chances of getting off easy. So many people disrespect and show frustration towards cops these days. Separate yourself from the pack.
An example of making a cop feel important would be to ask him how his day is going, or even thanking him for his service. As the cop approaches my window I smile, say hello and ask them how their day is going. This catches them completely off-guard. I can see they’re not used to it and automatically their whole energy shifts. The outcome of the game is now shifting in my favor.
Finding something you can sincerely compliment is helpful, like his blacked-out dodge charger or nice black on black ACG Nike boots. I know this makes you sick to think about, but it works and unfortunately, it’s a matter of life or death.
You will gain absolutely nothing by being disrespectful or questioning their authority. Trust me I know, I’ve tried it. It never worked. Unless you’re a lawyer, just shut up and be as agreeable as you can. I don’t care if you weren’t doing anything wrong. Let your lawyer deal with that part later.
I know this sucks and it shouldn’t be this way but it’s just the way it is right now. Until it’s different we can either follow the rules, change the game, or pack up everything and leave this place. The latter is looking better and better everyday.
First impressions matter.
How you look and dress determines how people receive you. You can fight that and go against it or go with it and use it to your advantage. The choice is yours.
Wear a custom fitted made-to-measure suit. Cops don’t mess with people in suits. Just ask the bankers.
People who wear suits get treated differently then people who don’t. That’s just how it is. Don’t believe me? Wear a made-to-measure tailored suit everyday for a month and keep a diary. Let me know how it goes.
If you have fitted caps littered all behind your back seat covering up the rear view, the cop is going to start judging you. Also, If have tinted windows. Don’t drive a car with tinted windows. I don’t care how cool these things look. Cool doesn’t keep you alive or out jail in this case, and they will use these reasons to pull you over. Don’t give them a reason.
If you’re black that is a lot harder than it sounds. I know, I get it and I hear you, some cops judge and will pull you over based on your skin color alone. Do your best to not take it personal and always assume the good before the bad.
If you are blasting music and the cop walks up to a cloud full of cigarette smoke he’s going to get mad. Why get a cop mad? These are people who can kill you, and get away with it. Don’t get them mad. Some of them actually want you to get them mad so they have a reason to escalate the situation and then use their ‘authority’ on you. If a cop asks you to put your cigarette out just put it out. Be agreeable. It’s a small price to pay for your life. You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
Trying to be right is wrong. You sound smart quoting the constitution until you end up on your ass with a taser in your neck or even worse shot dead. You were right. The cop was wrong. But it doesn’t matter because now you’re dead wrong and the system will justify why the cop had to do that and the whole case gets thrown out. It happens all the time, I know, it’s screwed up.
This 17-year-old kid Deven Guilford learned the hard way. The cop was wrong and he was right, but he still wound up dead. Like all of the others, it’s a very sad story and I realize that, but this young man could have done a lot of things differently. He could have lost the short game and won the long game (life). Instead he tried to prove that the cop was wrong. Over and over again, he tried to beat the cop at his own game, and the cop actually killed him for it.
“To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
I know all of this isn’t right, but it’s just the way humans are. Knowing this you must put a certain type of system in place. I like to always have something sports-related in my car. A baseball glove, a football, a basketball something that says “I’m an athlete and not a criminal”. A criminal justice text book works great too. Something that makes a cop relate to you and see himself in you. This is how you outwit the devil.
Most cops were jocks and all cops studied criminal justice. Are you starting to get the picture? This shit is simple. Mental judo 101.
An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Just as the negativity of the world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside you.
Rule #2 KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Some cops are scared. Or at least they say they were when push comes to shove and the entire nation has them under a microscope calling for their head. Whether they were scared and that’s true or not doesn’t even matter. Cops say they’re scared? Cool, now it’s my job to make them feel safe.
Next to feeling important, safety is one of the most primal feelings a human desires. In terms of the mind-body connection, the safety portal runs from the feet to the belly. The physiological expression of this portal is most evident when there is a threat to our physical or emotional safety. A fight or flight response.
This is why a lot of people run when they see the police. They are legitimately scared.
This is also why a lot of cops draw their firearm when they are pulling up to a car with tinted windows. They’ve heard bad stories of police officers being shot before and those stories make them scared. They think you’re going to pull out a gun and shoot them. They train for that so it’s always in the back of their head.
When you keep your hands on the steering wheel at all times you make the officer feel safe. Just do it. It works.
Keep your driving papers somewhere visible so it’s very easy for you to grab without looking like you are reaching for a weapon. I keep mine right underneath my radio in the middle console.
I’ve seen some videos teaching people to only put down the window an inch or two when being pulled over. I don’t like that method at all. That’s just going to make the cop not like me and increase my chances of the interaction taking a turn for the worst. It’s also going to make the cop want to know what I’m hiding and find out what’s inside my car.
I once had a cop pull me over right after the toll plaza at the Tappan Zee Bridge.
Instead of getting out of his car and approaching my car like normal, he was screaming at me on his megaphone to do something. The only problem was I couldn’t hear what he was saying because of all the traffic whizzing by.
As it turned out, he was directing me to exit my car with my hands up and walk backwards towards him. Whoops.
After a few attempts to get my cooperation, he exited his navy blue squad car, drew his firearm and approached my window screaming, “Get the fuck out of the car, put your hands up and walk backwards towards me, NOW!”
I was pissed off and didn’t understand why he was treating me like that. I was thinking about myself only and not the other person.
It turned out the car I was driving was falsely reported stolen after it had been towed in New York City. The cop thought I was a car thief and treated me as if I was armed and dangerous.
Put yourself in the other persons’ shoes. Always.
Stop thinking about yourself for a minute and think about what the other person wants.
I’m talking to you Johnny Cop.
I’m talking to you average Joe citizen.
When people are scared they do stupid things.
When your fight or flight response is triggered the body stops blood from traveling to the stomach and brain for digestion and sends it to the legs and other muscles to prepare for a fight. This means you’re literally not thinking straight.
When the body is scared it literally thinks it’s more important to run or fight then to think and digest. This is why a lot of good people wake up in jail asking themselves “what happened?” or “why did I do that!?”
This is why some of the best fighters of all time preach about fighting with zero anger. It helps them utilize their brains more efficiently. I could do a whole post on that.
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is a perfect example of this. He never looks mad. In the ring he doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him. He’s a tactical wizard who beats his opponents by making them beat themselves. The average fan might not love it but it works.
Win the battle before it even starts. Don’t give them a reason. Don’t reach for your phone to film. Don’t reach for your wallet. Don’t reach for anything. Keep your hands on the wheel until they get there and smile.
RULE #3 DON’T ASK WHY YOU’RE GETTING PULLED OVER
“The wise warrior avoids the battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War
A cop will tell you, eventually. Or maybe not at all if you get lucky and get off with just a warning.
Give them all the power right away. Treat them like a king. Even if it kills you inside just do it. It works. People just want to feel important. They want you to honor them. A lot of cops sign up for a badge just for this reason alone. Make their dream come true. They will love you for it.
Criticism is dangerous, because right away it hurts their pride, hurts their sense of importance and awakens a sense of resentment in them.
So, don’t say, “Don’t you have anything else better to do!?” That will get the cop mad.
When the cop is mad he’s more likely to kill you. This is insane that this is actually a thing.
RULE #4 DON’T LIE
“Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.” Matthew 5:25-26 NKJV
Sometimes we need to lose the small battles in order to win the war. If a cop saw you on your cell phone, or speeding, or doing anything remotely wrong, just admit to it when he asks you. Even better, if it was that obvious admit to it before he even mentions it. Tell him you were stupid. Tell him you regret it and that you understand if he has to give you a ticket. They will be so refreshed by your upfront honesty that they will start to look for reasons to not give you a ticket. They may even start to feel bad for and realize what they pulled you over for wasn’t a really big deal in the first place.
Obviously, if it’s something he has no clue about, like you having 1-2 drinks an hour ago or that you have a bag of pot on you, don’t admit to that. They’re not psychics.
If it’s a petty violation that they without-a-doubt witnessed with their own eyes, just be honest. People respect honesty. Being able to admit when you’re wrong is a very admirable character trait to have.
People get mad at liars. Lying is a very bad character trait to have. Don’t be a liar. It took me a long time to realize that. Lying gets you nowhere.
Cops are used to angry liars, so they will be refreshed and willing to take it easy on you when coming across an honest nice person with the great intentions.
If you want to survive your next encounter with a Police Officer, I’ve prepared a check-list for you. It’s easy to follow and will help increase your chances of survival. Here’s what you need to do:
- Pull over as quick as possible to the right side of the road.
- Smile, and put yourself in a happy place
- Keep your hands on the steering wheel until the cop says otherwise.
- Have something cop friendly in your car like sports gear or a criminal justice textbook.
- Don’t have a bad attitude. Don’t ask why you are being pulled over.
- Ask the cop how their day is going and find a way to compliment them if possible.
- Don’t make any sudden movements (this sounds like I’m making a list for how to deal with a wild animal)
- Don’t lie if it’s petty and you were seen doing it, tell the truth before they can even question you.
- And preferably have white skin. (Even that’s not working like it used to.)
So next time a cop wants to be right, let them have it. Detect the ego in them. Play to that. Let them be right. Let them think they are in the drivers seat. It will take you a lot further. Shit, you don’t even have to waste your own gas money.
Being right is wrong.
*PRODUCT OF THE POST*
If you really can’t live without filming the police, just get yourself a phone holder for your windshield. Keep your phone attached to it at all times and be ready to hit the record button. When the time comes, you can even tell the officer, with a smile, “this pullover is being recorded for both my and your safety.”
Any rules to live by that I left off the list? Leave a comment below and let me know.
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